FOUND THE LEAK
I bought a smoke tester and connected it to the EVAP service port! No smoke anywhere. Let it run for about 10 minutes and didn't see a whisp of smoke anywhere. I ran around the truck 20 times with a flashlight looking EVERYWHERE. But no smoke.
But then I heard an odd sound under the passenger rear seat.
Got under there and heard a hissing coming from the fuel tank but didn't see any smoke. So... started spraying the the tank with soapy water and would'ja look'it that? Found the leak coming from the fuel pump!
Are the pumps serviceable? Any o-rings that can be replaced? Or is this a full pump replacement? :/
Also, I really wanna know why there was no smoke... when I removed the gas cap, smoke poured out. So the system was definitely full of smoke, but it wasn't coming out of the leak. Any ideas? Would the smoke end up going through the charcoal canister first before filling the tank? Maybe the charcoal filter captured the smoke.... but that also just doesn't make much sense because the pump would still be in the same cavity (gas tank) as the filler neck. And the filler neck has smoke in it so that means the tank had smoke in it but none was coming out of the leak. Maybe it was but I just couldn't see it because it's such a small leak. I dunno.