Dang thats no Bueno, hope it all turns out well. Some members are selling spc control arms, and someone had total choas control arms floating around if you decide to jsut get a refund and go another route.
I can second the Nisstec arms. Ball joint design is brilliant and allows for fine tuned adjustments. Hope you can get your cash back and go with a higher quality product.Wow - that sucks, mate. Surprised that Calmini's fitment issues continue, it's been at least three years that Xterra folks have waited for them to get it right.
If it's any help, I had great success with my Light Racing UCAs from Nisstec. They fit, were easy to adjust and worked brilliantly on the trail.
Plus, they'll save you some coin…
Good luck with getting everything sorted out.